Twin-isms: Growing Pains

My poor twins have had a bad month of growing pains - teething, colds, chest infections and nappy rashes. This means I've had two very irritable, clingy and upset bubbas. Many people look at twins and think it's so cute to have two little babies to hold, hug, kiss and play with and yes it is cute but not when they both want their mama who only has one pair of arms :(

 

This experience is actually worst than when they were first born and I had the dilemma of who to pick up first as now they both can see me and they can reach out to me or  crawl and cling to me bawling when I already have one baby in my arms - now that is really heart breaking! 

 

Sometimes I wonder if being a twin is a good thing? It means they always have to share their cuddles and time with mum and dad while singleton babies get spoiled with parents fighting for a cuddle. I have to admit that when I am on my own, the only time I get to enjoy one of the twins is if the other is asleep or entertaining them self. I love the one on one time with one baby when I don't have to rush and have the other baby looking at me crying and making me feel guilty that I am holding one and not the other.

 

For the past few weeks,  I have spent most of my days in our bed nursing the twins and playing with them while watching children's DVDs.  It's not very productive but there was a time when the twins got really upset when I left their sight. They didn't like being in the play pen and just wanted to be held all the time so our bed was the only comfortable place where I could hold them both. Lately, they have been ok on their own. After an initial cry they end up playing with a toy or find something to distract them while I quickly have a shower or have a quick bite to eat.

 

There are days when all is calm and I may be busy doing some kind of house chore when suddenly I just hear them giggling really loud - oh how I love that sound! When I turn around to see what they are giggling at, they are smiling me but I know I've missed it. I guess those are the times when being a twin is really special.

 

So, while the twins experience their first growing pains - I am still being positive by making the most of the precious times when  I have my two babies cuddled up next to me - it is the sweetest feeling and one I will make the most of while I can because I know one day they will want to be in their own bed and while I look forward to that, a part of me will miss their cuddles and closeness.

 

I've been chatting to a few twin mamas from around the world on Instagram and I'm so relieved that I am not the only one facing this dilemma. Apparently the first year is the hardest and the mothers with older twins say they wouldn't want to trade places with me for the world! They have assured me though that once they hit the toddler stage - it's very fun seeing them interact with each other - still challenging but not as much as the first year.

 

I can't believe that in 8 short weeks our twins will turn 1 and Keira will be 3 and for some reason it just sounds so much easier than having a 2 year old and 10 month old twins!

 

A sad Montana had a bad morning :( but after some teething medicine and a nap she was herself again :) This pic was edited with Iphone apps Snapseed and Vintique

My boy Lucas really is a Mama's boy as there have been times when he won't go to anyone except me or he'll be fine if I'm not around but as soon as he sees me, he only wants me.  This pic was edited with Iphone apps Snapseed, Noir and Romance

Captured: a twin bond moment. Love it!

 

We have come to the realisation that our twins are the happiest when we go out! No wonder everyone comments to us about how well behaved they are because when we are out in public they usually are!

Twin-isms: Interactions

Our twins look so grown up in the picture below. To me it looks like they are discussing the very important subject of shopping tags and stickers ;) I love seeing them interact with each other more and more everyday. In our eyes, Montana is the adventurer and Lucas is  the safe player. We can just see the following scenario in a few years time where Montana will be coaxing Lucas to follow her 'C'mon Lucas' in some kind of adventure and Lucas will hesitantly respond "But mum told us to stay here"....hahaha

 

Well they are only 8 and a half months old so there is still plenty of growing for them to do....meanwhile it's really fun watching them together. Sometimes I wish I could just wake up with a camera in my hand to capture them saying good morning to each other by putting their foreheads together or capture the look they exchange to each other when big sister Keira is doing a funny dance or acting silly in front of them. Their cuteness just makes my heart burst with happiness xo

 

Is it worth it?

It's such a mission to go out alone with my three so unless I am visiting family and friends - I don't do it!.....with the exception of going to the library. I try to take Keira alone in the mornings to Story Time when Damo is home to look after the twins but he has been working earlier shifts so lately, I've had to take all three babies with me and when we don't make it to Story Time at 10am, we still go during the day to make returns, re-borrow and to keep up the library routine.

Getting all three kidlets and myself dressed to go out: 40 mins

Loading three kidlets in the car: 10 mins

Drive to the library: 10 mins

Unloading car including pram: 10 mins

Keira borrowing books and DVDs: 5 mins  (10 mins if I get a chance to borrow something and 30 mins if we make it to Story Time)

Re-loading car to go home: 10 mins

Drive home: 10 mins

Unloading three kidlets: 10 mins

So it takes more than 1 hour to make our weekly 10 min library outing (or 30 mins for Story Time outing) and I have asked myself "Is it worth it?" on more than one occasion.

When we get home:

Keira excitedly opens up one of her DVD's to play

Keira and sometimes the twins are entertained by the DVD for 30-60 mins. Keira is often dancing and jumping along having fun

I read the books we borrow to put Keira to sleep

A few days later, Keira is singing the tunes to the new songs and repeating new words from the books I've read to her

This is when my question is answered: Yes it is worth it!

Keira is such an expert at borrowing DVD's - she has it done in 5 mins! lol

Twin-isms: Twin bond

When we were told we were having fraternal twins, the Dr told us it was like having two separate pregnancies at the one time. People like to think of twins as having a special bond because they've grown together in the womb and when they are born they need to be put together because they are so used to each other and can't be separated. Not my twins. When they were first born it was each to their own. Like most newborns they just wanted their mama and there was no indication of trying to reach out for the sibling whom they had shared a womb with for 38 weeks. Our boy Lucas, even though the youngest by a minute was more domineering and attention seeking. When Montana cried Lucas would cry louder - he always wanted to be held and he did not want to share. Even when they slept in the same cot - they still cried and preferred to sleep with me. You would think that they'll be comforted having another baby next to them. Not my two. They had their first separation when they were one week old when Lucas went to the hospital to get his cast and there was no separation anxiety at all. I remember thinking how right the Dr was - it did feel like I had two pregnancies at the same time as I saw no twin bond between them whatsoever. I was beginning to think that maybe it only applied to identical twins until one day - 11 days after they were born, I checked in on the sleeping twins and saw this:

Awwww YES they do have a bond and they ARE aware of each other. They show it in their own way. Now that they are older, I catch them looking at each other and there is an unspoken, unique communication only between the two of them. There is no denying that they have their own special twin bond. We love it when they share this with us.

Below are pictures of the twins playing around - Lucas was trying to get onto Montana's bouncer and she was kicking him off and he thought it was so funny. Too cute!

We look forward to seeing their twin bond grow, nourish and develop together and with others (as long as they don't gang up on mummy and daddy!)

June Highlights

June was a busy and exciting month. Here are some of the things we got up to:

We started going to Story Time at Casula Library which is on every Monday. We first went there with our church play group a few weeks ago and the library had a Science Play expo on which was fun for the kids. Keira also enjoys choosing the books and DVD's to borrow which keeps her entertained and busy at home (a little relief for me) so I've added a weekly library trip to our routine :)


Keira having fun exploring the different and fun activites at Science Play

The twins got into the action too at Science Play

A new milestone for the twins - they are now eating solids :) They started on organic baby rice cereal and are now onto their fruits and vegetables. They are great eaters and enjoy their food although the flip side is that now their poos are starting to change as well! :( 

Lucas is having a bad hair day! haha

Montana has an Islander appetite and loves her food :)

I decided to take Keira out of pre school until I go back to work in 3 months so I can spend as much time with all the kids at home. I put Keira in twice a week when the twins were born so that she could continue to have the learning and socialising of child care and so I could spend time with the twins as Keira still commands so much attention which was hard for me whilst nursing two new borns. Now the twins are older and settled and I can give Keira the attention she needs. I know I'm really going to miss being at home full time with all three babies (as chaotic as it is) so I need to make the most of it while I still can.



Keira with her teachers Miss Joanne and Miss Angela from Kids United. They only cater for children 2 years and up so I would've had to take Keira out anyway as I would prefer all three go to the same centre. We might return in 2 years time if we still live in the area :)

The saying goes that when one door closes, another one opens. My friend Kristall and her sister Jasmine have a play school for their children and we're going to join in together with our other friend Darcel and her kids. I'm excited because now that Keira is finished with child care, she will still have that weekly learning and social environment with this play school and who better than with my friends kids :) Between the four of us plus Kristall's brother's daughter - there are 13 kids under 6!! We are going to rotate a teaching and activities roster between the 4 of us mums which will start later in July. From the pictures below, it looks like the kids are having too much fun playing  but I'm sure we'll be able to get a few ABC's in there or we might be a little too ambitious with the teaching part but I guess time will tell - play school could turn into just play dates but I'm sure the kids will still have fun!

 

The last highlight of the month - Montana has just started to crawl! She is such a little adventurer  and can't stay still. Lucas is on his hands and knees and not far off from crawling either. These pics were taken by my cousin Mathilde (Tildy) while she was babysitting the twins with her mum Aunty Zinda. It's hard to believe how fast they have grown!!

  

The Date Crasher

Since we've had the twins, Damien and I had only been on one date. With three little ones, Damo's inconsistent work schedule and babysitters availability to consider - going on a date can take a few weeks to plan! The main factor being babysitters availability. Knowing the demands of looking after all 3 kids - even for a few hours, we like to leave the kids with at least two adults and no other children to look after. This cancels out my parents if they have Jaime and Liam at home but luckily it leaves us with three reliable families - the De Sousa's (Uncle Jason, Aunty Nina, Teia and Cinta), Da costas (Uncle Carlos, Aunty Zinda, Lia, Tildy and Tuly) and the Asekona's (Uncle Sau, Aunty Fou and Evie).

The De Sousa's looked after the kids on our first date and the Da costa's are always looking after my kids for an hour or two when I have errands to run so when we planned for this particular date we asked the Asekona's who lived further away but it also provided us an opportunity to catch up and for them to see the kids.

Our movie date was booked two weeks in advance for last Saturday and when the day arrived it was a cold, rainy and gloomy day. As the children had just recovered from a cold, we were relunctant to go out but then we didn't know when we'll have the opportunity to go on a date again so we bundled the kids up in warm clothes and decided to go. We arrived at the Asekona's with a few hours to spare so we could catch up and I could feed the twins etc When it came time to leave Keira had a big tantrum consisting of screams, tears and leg kicking. We thought that we  would have to cancel our date afterall as I could tell that our babysitters were not impressed with her sookie act especially when they suggested that we take her with us! We first baulked at that idea as she has never been to the movies before but as Keira kept on whining - it seemed like we had no other choice and so we decided to take her with us.

Twins Montana and Lucas stayed warm at Uncle Sau's and Aunty Fou's place

Once we got to the movie theatre, Keira was like a different kid and all smiles when she got ice-cream and cheezels

As we were waiting for the movie to start - Keira was really excited which made us excited too! We were actually glad that she came along with us as it gave us an opportunity to spend some quality time with our 'big' girl.

We got the best seats right at the back (so Keira could stay out of trouble)

Yummy treats

Keira looked so cute in her 3D glasses haha

We watched Prometheus 3D as we had planned as there were no kids movies on at that time and we also knew being Keira's first time at the movies, she wouldn't be able to sit still.  We were right because Keira didn't really watch the movie at all - once her treats were finished she walked up and down our aisle and played in the empty seats in front of us. She yelled out a few times and made a few noises but luckily there weren't too many patrons for her to annoy.

After the movie, we went to have dinner at the restaurant Alcatraz next door and although the food was nothing to brag about, the company was fabulous. What started off as a date crash ended up being an enjoyable date plus one although next time we'll be taking Keira to a children's movie :) and.... we'll also try to sneak away on a date on our own :)

Six Months later.....

It's been six and half months since we've become a family of 5, since I've been a stay at home mum with newborn twins and a 2 year old. They say time flies when you're having fun and yes time has flown and it has been fun but not without its ups and downs.

I remember some of the early challenges we had when we bought the twins home.  Firstly, we had just moved into a new place one month before the twins were born so there was still unpacking and sorting to do (there still is as we are still looking for 'time' to finish it!) Secondly, Lucas was born with a right club foot (where the foot is turned inwards) so we had weekly hospital plaster appointments for the first 8 week weeks of of his life to straighten his foot and that was on top of helping Keira adjust to her new baby siblings as well as us trying to adjust the demands of two newborns ourselves.

The most difficult thing for me was when they were both crying I didn't know who to pick up first and when I held one, I felt like I was chosing one over the other even though I wasn't. The first few days were heartbreaking for me as all newborn babies deserve and demand a parents full and undivided attention - at least for the first weeks of their lives and our twins had to share ours. I tried to take turns or held the one I thought would be the hungriest etc. I always wished (and still do) that I had an extra pair of arms to hold all three of my babies. It was worst when Keira was crying too and sadly most times she ended up being the last one I tended too (unless it was an emergency). There were times when she was upset she'll just bypass me altogether and go to her father because she knew that most times when she came up to me I would be holding a baby or two in my arms. Yes - lots of adjusting for all of us! There were some days when they would just be a blur - it seemed like it was going slowly but by the end of it I felt like it went by so quickly yet nothing seemed to be done.

After a month, the twins started to adjust to their new world and us with them in ours. I was up a lot during the night - as I would feed one, put baby down, go to sleep and a few mins later the other baby would wake up wanting their feed.  Damo was up to holding the other crying baby or helping me with putting the two babies on me to nurse and then taking them off as they started to get heavier for me to do it. Sleep was a luxury. I really wanted to train the twins to sleep in their cot from day 1 but it only lasted a few weeks as in the end it was just easier for me to sleep in between both and turn to nurse on demand. It's not the ideal solution but I got more sleep, the twins were really happy to be fed straight away, they cried less as they both loved being close to me and overall a happier household. I know people advise against co - sleeping and it can be seen as the lazy way out to parenting but to be honest I really enjoyed it with Keira and I enjoy it with the twins.  I love the cuddliness and closeness of my babies. I love watching them fall asleep and even when they are asleep - I just love watching them, smelling them, kissing their beautiful little features and baby smooth skin, always marvelling at their perfection and that I am their mother. I'm fortunate that I am a light sleeper so I can do that but I am hoping that they will be happy to sleep in their own bedroom when I stop breastfeeding. It may seem like wishful thinking but I am an optimist!

Being an optimistic person is what made me get through the first six months. Yes, there were (many) tough days but luckily I would only be upset or stressed for a few hours after which I would assess the situation or life in general, look on the brighter side and get over it. That is one of my good traits - the ability to always be positive and move on when faced with challenges. I'm no where near the mother/ wife/ person I want to be. I have definitely learnt and grown up so much as a mother, a wife and a person. I still do everyday and always strive to be better and the best I can be.  

No matter how tough and challenging it was or it can be - I am always grateful because I think I had a pretty good first six months. I am so grateful that I had a trouble free pregnancy, a safe delivery of two healthy babies, plenty of breastmilk to nurse both twins, a loving husband/ father and plenty of support from our extended family.  There is not a day that goes by that I don't let my Heavenly Father know how grateful I am for the many blessings He has bestowed unto me and especially for entrusting me with these three precious babies.

Six and a half months on - we still don't have the perfect schedule, our days can still be hectic, chaotic and crazy, our home is still not fully sorted, the house is almost always messy and hard to keep clean, socks are always missing their pairs and Keira is starting to write on the walls but we are slowly adjusting to our little party of 5 and we all healthy and happy!

I thought the the first six months would be the hardest but thinking of the next phase of our lives which will include weaning, teething, solids, crawling, toilet training Keira and my return to work - it makes the first six months look easy when the babies just ate, slept and pooed! However, the ever optimistic person in me says Bring it on! (with a smile :) )

Our little family when the twins were 3 months - Gees we look tired but happy :)

Aunty Dees move and Oz visit from Aunty Lance

My sister in law Dees moved on  the weekend from Marrickville to Matraville to live with two cousins Leanne and Rosie. Cousin Evelyn was there to help and sister Elena (aka Lance) came from NZ to help with the move too.

Seeing as Damo was working on Sat - he could only help on Sun as the designated Van driver as no one else had a drivers licence or could drive manual :P (on my to learning list)

It was great to see Aunty Lance and especially for her to meet the twins for the first time :) The move went smoothly as the girls did the bulk of the work on Saturday. Lance was going back to NZ early Monday morning so we all slept over at Matraville to spend as much time together with Aunties Dees, Lance, Evie, Rosie and Leanne. There was plenty of room, mattresses and doonas for everyone. We had heaps of fun, laughs and bonding moments over pizza.

The next day Damo dropped Lance off at the airport, returned the hire van and went to work. The aunties, kids and I slept in, had Chinese for lunch and watched black movies. It was extra relaxing for me as there was an aunty per child so I was practically child free for most of the day except for nursing the twins :) I'm so grateful to have inlaws who love my children and that my children have plenty of family to play with and spoil them with hugs and kisses. My arms were also grateful for the rest lol :) xo

Damo, Lucas, Montana and Lance

 

Aunty Lance and Monie

Aunty Dees and Lucas Balucas

Keira all ready for the sleep over

The move

Family bonding over pizza

Meeting Baby Max McQueen

One of the best things of not working and being home with the kids is the opportunity to have play dates and catch ups with other mother friends and their kids. Darcel is one of my good friends who has 3 young boys ages 4,3 and 20 months old with another boy due in a few weeks. She is a super mummy! Last week the twins and I went over to Darcel's parents place for a catch up/ playdate with Darcel, her youngest boy Kingston and her sister Jaslyn and her 6 week old baby son Max who were visiting from Kalgoolie, Western Australia. Keira and Darcel's eldest two Cassius and Phoenix were at child care so the three of us had a great afternoon relaxing and chatting about the kids, motherhood and took some cute pics of the babies.

5 months old Lucas and Montana with 6 week old  cutie Max

Take 2: Lucas, Montana and Max

Later we picked up the older kids and let's just say that things were much more hectic and noisy than our peaceful and relaxed afternoon! Earlier, we both told Jaslyn to enjoy baby Max as this cute baby stage because life is quite different when they become toddlers and when number 2 etc come along but Jaslyn the trooper just smiled her sweet smile and said that she couldn't wait to have more babies! So here is Jaslyn holding the twins to have a taste of having two babies! lol

Twins @ 5 months

The twins are 5 months old today! They are growing up so quickly. They are both rolling onto their bellies, grabbing hold of anything and everything, laughing and smiling a lot and  they are also starting to do a lot of talking. This is such a cute stage when they are starting to interact more with everyone. I love how they recognise me and give me a big, drooly smile when they see me after they wake up. These are moments to cherish xo

                                      Montana and Lucas @ 5 months old and all smiles for mummy and the camera

Happy Days in May Project

Day 1

While out shopping with my twin babies, I think it's so nice of strangers to take the time and thought to stop me and compliment on how beautiful they are :)

When we became a family of 5

On 1 December 2011, our family became complete when our beautiful twins Montana Rose Boavida Asekona and Lucas Orlando Halo Boavida Asekona were born. With big sister Keira Olandina Boavida Asekona who had just turned 2 a few days before, we became a family of 5! Wow, what a blessing to have delievered two healthy twin babies and to have 3 beautiful children. They really are  a blessing and what a dream come true to have a little family of my own.

This is the twins announcement card with all the details of their birth. The card was designed by the photographer Nikki @ Virtual Memories Photography as a part of a newborn photoshoot Christmas present from Aunty Flavia, Aunty Tildy and Aunty Lia xo

Our first family picture as a family of 5. This was taken the day after I gave birth via c-section hence why I look a little dazed out. I'm holding  our newborn son Lucas. Daddy Damien looks really proud holding our newborn daughter Montana (there were 3 people taking photos of us) and Keira looks disinterested. That was her initial reaction to meeting the twins - she kind of ignored them until about Day 3 when she finally touched them.