I remember some of the early challenges we had when we bought the twins home. Firstly, we had just moved into a new place one month before the twins were born so there was still unpacking and sorting to do (there still is as we are still looking for 'time' to finish it!) Secondly, Lucas was born with a right club foot (where the foot is turned inwards) so we had weekly hospital plaster appointments for the first 8 week weeks of of his life to straighten his foot and that was on top of helping Keira adjust to her new baby siblings as well as us trying to adjust the demands of two newborns ourselves.
The most difficult thing for me was when they were both crying I didn't know who to pick up first and when I held one, I felt like I was chosing one over the other even though I wasn't. The first few days were heartbreaking for me as all newborn babies deserve and demand a parents full and undivided attention - at least for the first weeks of their lives and our twins had to share ours. I tried to take turns or held the one I thought would be the hungriest etc. I always wished (and still do) that I had an extra pair of arms to hold all three of my babies. It was worst when Keira was crying too and sadly most times she ended up being the last one I tended too (unless it was an emergency). There were times when she was upset she'll just bypass me altogether and go to her father because she knew that most times when she came up to me I would be holding a baby or two in my arms. Yes - lots of adjusting for all of us! There were some days when they would just be a blur - it seemed like it was going slowly but by the end of it I felt like it went by so quickly yet nothing seemed to be done.
After a month, the twins started to adjust to their new world and us with them in ours. I was up a lot during the night - as I would feed one, put baby down, go to sleep and a few mins later the other baby would wake up wanting their feed. Damo was up to holding the other crying baby or helping me with putting the two babies on me to nurse and then taking them off as they started to get heavier for me to do it. Sleep was a luxury. I really wanted to train the twins to sleep in their cot from day 1 but it only lasted a few weeks as in the end it was just easier for me to sleep in between both and turn to nurse on demand. It's not the ideal solution but I got more sleep, the twins were really happy to be fed straight away, they cried less as they both loved being close to me and overall a happier household. I know people advise against co - sleeping and it can be seen as the lazy way out to parenting but to be honest I really enjoyed it with Keira and I enjoy it with the twins. I love the cuddliness and closeness of my babies. I love watching them fall asleep and even when they are asleep - I just love watching them, smelling them, kissing their beautiful little features and baby smooth skin, always marvelling at their perfection and that I am their mother. I'm fortunate that I am a light sleeper so I can do that but I am hoping that they will be happy to sleep in their own bedroom when I stop breastfeeding. It may seem like wishful thinking but I am an optimist!
Being an optimistic person is what made me get through the first six months. Yes, there were (many) tough days but luckily I would only be upset or stressed for a few hours after which I would assess the situation or life in general, look on the brighter side and get over it. That is one of my good traits - the ability to always be positive and move on when faced with challenges. I'm no where near the mother/ wife/ person I want to be. I have definitely learnt and grown up so much as a mother, a wife and a person. I still do everyday and always strive to be better and the best I can be.
No matter how tough and challenging it was or it can be - I am always grateful because I think I had a pretty good first six months. I am so grateful that I had a trouble free pregnancy, a safe delivery of two healthy babies, plenty of breastmilk to nurse both twins, a loving husband/ father and plenty of support from our extended family. There is not a day that goes by that I don't let my Heavenly Father know how grateful I am for the many blessings He has bestowed unto me and especially for entrusting me with these three precious babies.
Six and a half months on - we still don't have the perfect schedule, our days can still be hectic, chaotic and crazy, our home is still not fully sorted, the house is almost always messy and hard to keep clean, socks are always missing their pairs and Keira is starting to write on the walls but we are slowly adjusting to our little party of 5 and we all healthy and happy!
I thought the the first six months would be the hardest but thinking of the next phase of our lives which will include weaning, teething, solids, crawling, toilet training Keira and my return to work - it makes the first six months look easy when the babies just ate, slept and pooed! However, the ever optimistic person in me says Bring it on! (with a smile :) )
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